Being Outside by Scott Jean

Being outside
I am constantly reminded
That I don't belong
Once I leave the safety
And comforts of my four walls
I am faced with the harshest reality
I don't matter.
Walking down my street
Met with glares
And judgmental thoughts
Hold onto my purse
Let's cross the street
I hope he doesn't try to rob me
Branded across my whole being
Instead of seeing an inquisitive,
Brilliant man
They look through a fearful lens
And see a black thug
Growing up, I've learned
This lesson most through my mom
As many African American parents,
She taught me survival tactics
From when I was a little boy
That has still kept me alive
Not fully understanding that
Life was a battleground
But she was sure to arm me in this war
My mother would tell me,
Watch how you speak,
As a little black boy,
I learned that how I talk
To my friends
To my family
Became a threat for others
An invite to see me as a criminal
"What's poppin" immediately became a
Disruption to society that had to be dealt with
Even though I was eight,
I already sounded like a man
My mother would tell me,
Watch how you walk
As a little black boy,
I learned that how I walk
Became an intimidating factor
A scare tactic
To take power from a society
In which I already have none
The way I carry myself
The ability to stand tall
Strikes fear in your hearts
Innocence turned into aggression
Ready to retaliate at any moment
The joys of walking with friends
Stripped down to looking over shoulders
To fend off potential attacks
Even though I was nine,
I already was approached like a man
My mother would tell me,
Watch how you dress,
As a little black boy,
I learned that 3x white tees
Meant I was dope dealer
Baggy pants meant I was criminal
Instead a child following a trend,
Stereotypes encased who I was.
From far away, before any words were uttered
Before the chance to know and
Understand me happened
Before my personality was revealed
And walls of prejudice could be broken down
I was set into this role
A role that from my clothes
I was immediately placed in
Even though I was ten,
I already looked like a man.
Being outside
I am constantly reminded
That I don't belong
But this is the fire that
Lights my actions
The thoughts that
Fuels my soul
For I will be known
I will be respected
I will loved
Being outside
Will turn from a living nightmare
To a beautiful dream

Author Bio: Thoughts appear, disappear, change, transform, live, burn, escape all around me.

I just try my best to capture it.

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Twitter: @aroundthaben